In this first entry of The Sacred Mirror, I invite you into a deeply personal reflection—one that shaped not only how I viewed the world, but how I began to view myself.
Some stories change you the moment they happen; others unfold their wisdom years later, in waves of insight.
This one, about a man named Mr. Nadeau, is both.
It’s a story of love wrapped in humor, of protection disguised as playful banter, and of a lesson so profound it has echoed through every chapter of my life.
As you read, I hope you see a little of yourself in these words—and perhaps remember someone who helped you feel seen when it mattered most.
Richard Nadeau
Seeing through my eyes includes a little sob sprinkled within the story – so please make it through the topping to get to the real dessert – Mr. Nadeau.
It’s love – it’s messy sometimes.
Many of you watched me growing up.
Some of you have heard me tell aspects of this story.
Very few of you know what matters to me … and … we all deserve to know how we impact others in Life.
I was fat.
I was made fun of for it.
I was very sensitive.
I hid it well when it mattered most.
When I didn’t hide my feelings, it simply meant that it must not have been that important.
The drama that we all saw was the frustration around not getting myself seen & understood.
Mr. Nadeau did though.
He knew that, and he came and helped when others told me differently.
He took me aside and he said:
“You know you can ruin their fun and then they won’t get enjoyment out of hurting you—if you do it first.”
Or something along that line;
Where they got enjoyment and felt powerful for putting me down,
If I deflated myself with their insults before they got to me,
Then I was not a balloon that they could pop.
So, every day he would help me learn, create, or memorise my own set of fat jokes to say back at the people who were using fat jokes against me.
“Oh, yah that’s funny but I’m actually SO FAT that I leave potholes when I go to the bus.”
“I’m so fat I got my own zip code.”
My favourite:
“When I go to the beach I come home with harpoon makers.”
The fat jokes were no longer swords to my gut,
They became my shield.
He helped me protect myself
In a time when I didn’t know how to protect myself.
But the lesson from that day lives on in me and goes deeper than that.
It surfaced again when I was really sick and unsure of HOW or IF I was going to get better.
I was reflecting on my life and all the bad things I said about other people even though I actually loved them.
Or making one friend—my favourite on the inside—but behaving differently on the outside.
I remembered that the things I loved or cherished had been the natural things taken away as punishment.
So I learned to manipulate the outcome.
I started talking bad about the people and things that I loved the most,
Because in my little girl brain, it meant that I got to keep them.
Mr. Nadeau’s message popped into my head:
That I must really actually love myself because I was putting myself down first!
Protecting myself!
That opened my heart to another level of myself—
Unbelievable how many years it had been from the original teaching!
Most recently, he surfaced again—
Even deeper still.
As I experience many “deaths of my old self” and “births of my new self” (just like everyone else)…
I recognized that the motivation to look at myself more clearly and fully was because of what Mr. Nadeau said:
If I hurt myself first, it takes it away from their power to hurt me.
So if I look inside and I do the deeper work of myself—
To recognize and acknowledge the parts of myself that I don’t particularly like, want, or feel good about—
While it’s painful, it’s far more beneficial for me to do so first
Than to wait for an outside event where others have to show it to me.
That’s a whole other layer of shame that he saved me from!
A Mother’s Day Reflection
It’s today, on Mother’s Day, that I actually am reflecting on this yet again—
And this time actually doing the doing of sending this story about Mr. Nadeau to Heidi to print,
So that we all can know and share what he did for me that day,
And for 45+ continuous years later.
Mr. Nadeau, you mothered me in a way that was fatherly and godly all in the same lesson.
You live in me and are a thread of great Love that weaves the fabric of my Being and keeps me together.
I hope you always remember that your Being has continued to heal me, a wounded healer—
(puts thumbs in ears, wiggles fingers, sticks tongue out and cackles)
“It takes one to know one.”
I love you and have valued you so incredibly deeply.
Blessings of the Greatest kind for you & yours,
Lisa Masure-Lahves
We carry people with us—sometimes without realizing just how deeply their presence threads through our becoming.
Mr. Nadeau gave me more than fat jokes and funny advice.
He gave me agency.
He gave me a mirror I wasn’t afraid to look into.
Welcome to The Sacred Mirror
If you're here reading this, welcome to The Sacred Mirror.
This space will be filled with stories like this—raw, reflective, and real.
Some may sting.
Some may heal.
But all of them are meant to help us see each other—
And ourselves—
More clearly.
Until next time,
With warmth and wonder,
Lisa